I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize