i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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