Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
