My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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