they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
