It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
