one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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