Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This toilet bowl is my home.
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