this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize