This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
