I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
