Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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