I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize