No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
