why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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