There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
