Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
