Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize