Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
