I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
