Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Congratulations! We have a period
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize