I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
