You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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