Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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