I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
