she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
