Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
