i just google imaged poop.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
