I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
A bitchslap is in order.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
