lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize