So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
