yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
