I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
