I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
