I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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