So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
