If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
