I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize