Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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