You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
