I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
