Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
