I wish i was in the wii world.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
