My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
