like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize