this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
