Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
