You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
