His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
