How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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