So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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