I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
