I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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