Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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