ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
