@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do herpes really smell.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
