dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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