he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
