How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
