tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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