i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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