What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
