doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
