I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
