But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
