what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
