First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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